By Vicki Chandler
Special to ASSIST News Service
WARMINSTER, PA (ANS) -- How can this be possible? How could there be another mass shooting? How can anyone make sense of the massacre in Sandy Hook Elementary School? What kind of a person would harm innocent children, those as young as kindergarten students, just days before Christmas?
In 2012, too many mass murders took place in our country. They took place in places where people should feel safe. Places like a movie theater, a shopping center, and an elementary school. Newtown, Connecticut was once voted as one of the safest place to live in America (according to NeighborhoodScout’s ® Top 100 Safest Cities in the U.S.).
That idyllic town, beautifully adorned with Christmas decorations, became shrouded in police tape on December 14th. Signs displayed the reaction of its citizens. Signs which signaled what needed to be done: “Prayer Vigil” and “Say a Prayer.”
Even President Obama looked to God for comfort when he quoted scripture saying, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3).
Hundreds packed the church to attend the prayer vigil while throngs more outside peered into the windows. The united body leaned toward anyone who could provide comfort and answers. The collective cry of “Why” screamed to know why that day, why that school, and why those shot. A seasoned New York detective reported he stopped trying to figure out motives after seeing countless scenes of massacres. Closed eyes of the young students couldn’t make the scenes disappear. Tears of the parents couldn’t wash away their pain.
Stunned authorities struggled to describe the nightmare in Newtown. They called the death and destruction a rampage, a massacre, a horrendous tragedy, a mass murder, a horrible crisis, an assassination, and a hideous crime.
Shell-shocked witnesses named their reeling emotions as being gut-punched, heartbroken, beyond overwhelmed, terrified, devastated, and rattled. Saying their experience was unspeakable, unthinkable, unimaginable, and incredibly difficult. The images were seared in their minds, leaving them with bleeding hearts.
Descriptors can’t convey responses to the trauma. No superlative can come close to explain the incident. Minds can’t fathom any reasonable explanation. Anger and grief demand answers. The shooter’s brother hinted at an explanation. He told police his brother had a personality disorder.
His mental illness (MI) can never be an excuse for such carnage. Others with serious mental illness don’t commit such crimes. MI offers, however, one explanation. Which begs the question: are unstable, mentally ill people getting enough mental health care?
On the Piers Morgan Tonight show on CNN, Dr. Frank Ochberg said, “We failed in America in protecting people with serious mental illness.” On the same show, Dr. Xavier Amador stated emphatically, “These things are exceedingly rare. This is an opportunity to fix things that are terribly broken in our mental health system.”
Mayor Rudy Giuliani’s voice of experience said, “The most important thing for the families is to know they’re not alone. There will be an explanation of the incident. But, there will not be an understanding of it…The explanation won’t help us understand why the shooter did the unfathomable deed…This is not a simple situation. There won’t be a simple solution…the whole nation realizes this rare crime can happen anywhere. It’s so arbitrary.”
President Obama addressed the stunned nation with his call to action. “We're going to have to come together and take meaningful action to prevent more tragedies like this, regardless of the politics.”
We’re all desperate to find that elusive meaningful action. We struggle to identify policies or laws that will stop the carnage once and for all. Thorough investigations are being done. Questions being raised in Connecticut were raised just last July in Colorado. Only several months ago innocent lives were arbitrarily taken in a movie theater. Back then experts, such as mental health personnel and city officials, were trying to offer insights and solutions. Yet, we still struggle to comprehend such senseless acts. Is it even possible for rational, law abiding citizens to understand irrational violence? Can we find an answer that will lead us to say, “Okay, now that makes sense”? How can we stop the insanity?
There is one who can shed some light on insanity. Someone who has a unique perspective. The Aurora shooter’s mother. Little attention has been given to the mother of that shooter. Some wonder, “What happened in his childhood that led him to do such a thing? What kind of parent raises a child who would commit such a horrific act?” The mother of the shooter could tell you what kind of parent raises a child with MI. She must have suspected something was wrong. Surely she had suspicions and fears. Perhaps she worried what her son might do. But, could she have imagined that the torment in her son’s head would tear through the hearts and lives of so many innocent victims? Could she have predicted her own son would be capable of committing such destruction? Was there anything she could have done to prevent the slaughter? What kind of life did she have? What was she thinking? How did she feel?
I don’t know the shooter’s mother, but I can imagine what she’s feeling. I know what it’s like to watch a talented, brilliant teenager “snap.” Years ago, our son, Chris, was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. In his junior year of high school, he had a break from reality. Voices inside his head told him to assault my husband and me. The parents he loved.
Before Chris began medicine to treat his MI, I knew he was unstable. Rambling words droned from his mouth in a constant flow. I witnessed bizarre behaviors and longed for a predictable life. I sensed impending doom. His psychiatrist said he needed to be hospitalized. I agreed.
But, my husband and I felt helpless. Laws regarding involuntary commitment prevented us from forcing Chris to be hospitalized. Unless we could prove he was a danger to himself or others, we couldn’t commit him against his will. Technically, Chris hadn’t posed a threat to himself or us. Those constraining laws made me feel like a hostage in my own home. But, our son didn’t commit mass murder. He got the help he needed. Chris benefitted from early diagnosis and treatment. Statistics show he’s in the minority.
There is still so much shame and stigma surrounding MI. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) shares startling facts about children’s mental health in our country. On their website, they report that most of children suffering with MI fail to be identified or get proper treatment and support. How many are we talking about? Millions.
Our hearts ache for those who lost loved ones in Colorado, in Connecticut, and in too many other places of mass murders. We weep for innocent people whose lives will be forever changed. Why did it happen? There’s a different question that offers hope. Who can help?
Our heavenly Father knows what it’s like for a Son to die. He gave His only Son for us so that we could one day live with Him in heaven. A place without such carnage as seen on the news; a place where God will wipe away every tear: a place where there will be no more pain. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away” (Revelation 21:4 NIV).
I’m comforted by that hope. That eases my pain and gives me peace. You might say, “That’s easy for you to say. You don’t know what it’s like to face an insane man threatening your life.” My answer: For two months during our son’s psychotic episode, he stared at me with an empty darkness in his eyes and threatened my life. During those days, God provided peace and inner calmness amid piercing sorrow. Peace that can’t be comprehended. How could I have such peace in the face of death? Because of Him!
God offers us hope. We all can do something to prevent more massacres. In our prayers for the victims and their families, let’s also pray for parents who have a child with MI. Let’s pray they get the help they need, to obtain an early diagnosis, and get proper treatment. Pray for greater understanding of the early warning signs of MI. And beg our merciful Father to stop the entertainment industry from glorifying violence in movies, music, and computer games. Violence which feeds troubled minds with evil thoughts.
We can and must work to change the involuntary commitment laws. Laws which make it impossible for parents to get hospital care for an adult child with MI before a violent act is committed.
Additionally, more supports must be in place for parents when their child is suffering from severe mental illness. “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” (Hebrews 4:16 NIV).
Mental Health Organizations, where parents can get help: National Organizations:
* National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
3803 N. Fairfax Dr., Ste. 100
Arlington, VA 22203
Main: (703) 524-7600
Information Helpline: (800) 950-NAMI (6264) * National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)
6001 Executive Boulevard Room 8184, MSC 9663
Bethesda, MD, 20892-9663
(301) 443-4513
nimhinfo@nih.gov
http://www.nimh.nih.gov
(866) 615-6464
* Mental Health America
2000 N. Beauregard Street, 6th Floor Alexandria, VA 22311
Phone (703) 684-7722
Toll free (800) 969-6642
Fax (703) 684-5968
In Crisis? 1-800-273-TALK
* Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)
1 Choke Cherry Rd.
Rockville, MD, 20857
samhsainfo@samhsa.hhs.gov
http://www.samhsa.gov
(240) 276-2130
Christian Organizations:
* Local churches
* No Longer Alone Ministries (NLAM)
630 Janet Avenue, Lancaster, PA 17601
Phone: 717-390-4891 * Focus on the Family
1-800-232-6459
Arrange to speak with a licensed Christian counselor at no cost by calling 1-855-771-HELP (4357) Monday through Friday between 6:00 a.m. and 8:00 p.m. Mountain time.
Source
Special to ASSIST News Service
WARMINSTER, PA (ANS) -- How can this be possible? How could there be another mass shooting? How can anyone make sense of the massacre in Sandy Hook Elementary School? What kind of a person would harm innocent children, those as young as kindergarten students, just days before Christmas?
 |
Adults escort young children through a parking lot after reports of a shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn. (Photo credit: Newtown Bee/Shannon Hicks)
|
That idyllic town, beautifully adorned with Christmas decorations, became shrouded in police tape on December 14th. Signs displayed the reaction of its citizens. Signs which signaled what needed to be done: “Prayer Vigil” and “Say a Prayer.”
Even President Obama looked to God for comfort when he quoted scripture saying, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3).
Hundreds packed the church to attend the prayer vigil while throngs more outside peered into the windows. The united body leaned toward anyone who could provide comfort and answers. The collective cry of “Why” screamed to know why that day, why that school, and why those shot. A seasoned New York detective reported he stopped trying to figure out motives after seeing countless scenes of massacres. Closed eyes of the young students couldn’t make the scenes disappear. Tears of the parents couldn’t wash away their pain.
 |
Police patrol the streets outside Sandy Hook Elementary School after a deadly school shooting in Newtown, Conn (Photo: Reuters/Adrees Latif)
|
Stunned authorities struggled to describe the nightmare in Newtown. They called the death and destruction a rampage, a massacre, a horrendous tragedy, a mass murder, a horrible crisis, an assassination, and a hideous crime.
Shell-shocked witnesses named their reeling emotions as being gut-punched, heartbroken, beyond overwhelmed, terrified, devastated, and rattled. Saying their experience was unspeakable, unthinkable, unimaginable, and incredibly difficult. The images were seared in their minds, leaving them with bleeding hearts.
Descriptors can’t convey responses to the trauma. No superlative can come close to explain the incident. Minds can’t fathom any reasonable explanation. Anger and grief demand answers. The shooter’s brother hinted at an explanation. He told police his brother had a personality disorder.
His mental illness (MI) can never be an excuse for such carnage. Others with serious mental illness don’t commit such crimes. MI offers, however, one explanation. Which begs the question: are unstable, mentally ill people getting enough mental health care?
On the Piers Morgan Tonight show on CNN, Dr. Frank Ochberg said, “We failed in America in protecting people with serious mental illness.” On the same show, Dr. Xavier Amador stated emphatically, “These things are exceedingly rare. This is an opportunity to fix things that are terribly broken in our mental health system.”
Mayor Rudy Giuliani’s voice of experience said, “The most important thing for the families is to know they’re not alone. There will be an explanation of the incident. But, there will not be an understanding of it…The explanation won’t help us understand why the shooter did the unfathomable deed…This is not a simple situation. There won’t be a simple solution…the whole nation realizes this rare crime can happen anywhere. It’s so arbitrary.”
President Obama addressed the stunned nation with his call to action. “We're going to have to come together and take meaningful action to prevent more tragedies like this, regardless of the politics.”
We’re all desperate to find that elusive meaningful action. We struggle to identify policies or laws that will stop the carnage once and for all. Thorough investigations are being done. Questions being raised in Connecticut were raised just last July in Colorado. Only several months ago innocent lives were arbitrarily taken in a movie theater. Back then experts, such as mental health personnel and city officials, were trying to offer insights and solutions. Yet, we still struggle to comprehend such senseless acts. Is it even possible for rational, law abiding citizens to understand irrational violence? Can we find an answer that will lead us to say, “Okay, now that makes sense”? How can we stop the insanity?
There is one who can shed some light on insanity. Someone who has a unique perspective. The Aurora shooter’s mother. Little attention has been given to the mother of that shooter. Some wonder, “What happened in his childhood that led him to do such a thing? What kind of parent raises a child who would commit such a horrific act?” The mother of the shooter could tell you what kind of parent raises a child with MI. She must have suspected something was wrong. Surely she had suspicions and fears. Perhaps she worried what her son might do. But, could she have imagined that the torment in her son’s head would tear through the hearts and lives of so many innocent victims? Could she have predicted her own son would be capable of committing such destruction? Was there anything she could have done to prevent the slaughter? What kind of life did she have? What was she thinking? How did she feel?
 |
An earlier picture of Chris
and Vicki Chandler |
Before Chris began medicine to treat his MI, I knew he was unstable. Rambling words droned from his mouth in a constant flow. I witnessed bizarre behaviors and longed for a predictable life. I sensed impending doom. His psychiatrist said he needed to be hospitalized. I agreed.
But, my husband and I felt helpless. Laws regarding involuntary commitment prevented us from forcing Chris to be hospitalized. Unless we could prove he was a danger to himself or others, we couldn’t commit him against his will. Technically, Chris hadn’t posed a threat to himself or us. Those constraining laws made me feel like a hostage in my own home. But, our son didn’t commit mass murder. He got the help he needed. Chris benefitted from early diagnosis and treatment. Statistics show he’s in the minority.
 |
A recent picture of Chris
|
Our hearts ache for those who lost loved ones in Colorado, in Connecticut, and in too many other places of mass murders. We weep for innocent people whose lives will be forever changed. Why did it happen? There’s a different question that offers hope. Who can help?
Our heavenly Father knows what it’s like for a Son to die. He gave His only Son for us so that we could one day live with Him in heaven. A place without such carnage as seen on the news; a place where God will wipe away every tear: a place where there will be no more pain. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away” (Revelation 21:4 NIV).
I’m comforted by that hope. That eases my pain and gives me peace. You might say, “That’s easy for you to say. You don’t know what it’s like to face an insane man threatening your life.” My answer: For two months during our son’s psychotic episode, he stared at me with an empty darkness in his eyes and threatened my life. During those days, God provided peace and inner calmness amid piercing sorrow. Peace that can’t be comprehended. How could I have such peace in the face of death? Because of Him!
 |
Chris playing keyboards
during a church solo |
God offers us hope. We all can do something to prevent more massacres. In our prayers for the victims and their families, let’s also pray for parents who have a child with MI. Let’s pray they get the help they need, to obtain an early diagnosis, and get proper treatment. Pray for greater understanding of the early warning signs of MI. And beg our merciful Father to stop the entertainment industry from glorifying violence in movies, music, and computer games. Violence which feeds troubled minds with evil thoughts.
We can and must work to change the involuntary commitment laws. Laws which make it impossible for parents to get hospital care for an adult child with MI before a violent act is committed.
Additionally, more supports must be in place for parents when their child is suffering from severe mental illness. “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” (Hebrews 4:16 NIV).
Mental Health Organizations, where parents can get help: National Organizations:
* National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
3803 N. Fairfax Dr., Ste. 100
Arlington, VA 22203
Main: (703) 524-7600
Information Helpline: (800) 950-NAMI (6264) * National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)
6001 Executive Boulevard Room 8184, MSC 9663
Bethesda, MD, 20892-9663
(301) 443-4513
nimhinfo@nih.gov
http://www.nimh.nih.gov
(866) 615-6464
* Mental Health America
2000 N. Beauregard Street, 6th Floor Alexandria, VA 22311
Phone (703) 684-7722
Toll free (800) 969-6642
Fax (703) 684-5968
In Crisis? 1-800-273-TALK
* Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)
1 Choke Cherry Rd.
Rockville, MD, 20857
samhsainfo@samhsa.hhs.gov
http://www.samhsa.gov
(240) 276-2130
Christian Organizations:
* Local churches
* No Longer Alone Ministries (NLAM)
630 Janet Avenue, Lancaster, PA 17601
Phone: 717-390-4891 * Focus on the Family
1-800-232-6459
Arrange to speak with a licensed Christian counselor at no cost by calling 1-855-771-HELP (4357) Monday through Friday between 6:00 a.m. and 8:00 p.m. Mountain time.
Source
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